The first thing I have to say about this road trip is, what the hell were the Yakima Bears thinking when they changed their logo?

They had one of the coolest logos in the NWL until this year; so cool, in fact, that I considered buying one of their caps for my nephew in Australia (I mean, it’s not like he’d have any clue that Yakima is a desperate hole in the ground with no sign of life beyond the Gas’n'Sip parking lot… he’d be like, "Cool! A bear!")

But now? Wow, it’s like some executive’s kid went to work with the Etch-A-Sketch and daddy just couldn’t help but say, "Sure, Tiger! It looks great! The guys will be happy to wear it! Now, finish watching Thomas the Tank Engine and go to your crib."

No matter what I might think of the current C’s logo (which is growing on me – kind of like a tick) or the previous one (which killed anything it touched and thus had to be imprisoned in a cube and sent into deep space, which it will one day return from and kill us all), the new Yakima logo is a case study in "OMG."

That said, our batting sucks ass, so who’s better off?

Actually, it might be little surprise to those who’ve been paying attention, but the C’s finally got some new blood these past few days, and what a shocker, their debut coincides with the C’s nearly doubling their run total for the season – in a single game.

Rodney Rutherford opened his C’s account with an HBP in the top of the first against the Bears last night, scooting to 3rd on a pair of wild pitches before  Jareck ‘Wild Wild’ West flied out to center. Hardly worth mentioning, but with this year’s C’s, even getting to 3rd on severe pitcher incompetence is a gold star moment.

The Fundamentalist Christian (I’m not sure what his religious views are, but Jason Christian does have the fundamentals of baseball, so he’s Fundy from here on out) opened the second in markedly more competent circumstances, screaming a triple into right field to lead off the frame. WAAAAALT! Correa followed that with a walk, then stole second to put a little pressure on the Bears’ starting pitcher, Ricardo Taveras (which in Latin means ‘here is my fastball, please note that it isn’t fast and dispatch it accordingly’… those old Latin speakers sure knew how to economize syllables, didn’t they?).

So with two in scoring position and no outs… well, you’d kind of expect the C’s to screw it up anyway. Just because, let’s face it, that’s been the tradition this season. In all honesty, these Vancouver Canadians kids could hit a ball fifty feet over the left field fence, then break a leg tripping over second base while the left fielder runs out to the parking lot, retrieves the ball, comes back, finds he needs a ticket to reenter he ballpark, hits the ATM for a few bucks, buys a bleacher seat, reenters the stadium, and tags the runner.

But not this time, bub. This time, we got runs. And nobody died.

Well, Good King Wentzell struck out first, of course. But THEN we got runs, courtesy of The Stairmaster, Jeremy Barfield. He knocked an infield single to short, which scored one, and then the Yakima shortstop Justin Parker threw the ball six miles down highway 82, which was enough time to score WAAAALT!

2-0 C’s?! That’s like two games worth of runs for this team!

Time for the chicken dance!

So, bottom of the second, C’s pitcher Ronny ‘The Mauler’ Morla on the mound, gives up a couple of singles and a walk to open things out with a no-out bases loaded jam.

But don’t worry about it; Satchel Paige used to do that all the time. Walk a guy, give up a couple of doinky singles, then when they have their confidence high, you strike out the side.

You think I’m kidding?

• Justin Parker strikes out swinging.
• Ramon Castillo called out on strikes.
• Johan Pimentel strikes out swinging.

Dude’s got flamage.

The Mauler put a few more on in the 3rd, only to once again pull the rug out from under them with a guy in scoring position, and when the 4th inning came around, the C’s could actually point to a multi-inning stretch where they were leading a ballgame. Champagne corks were heard emanating from the dugout more than once.

Though, the sound could also have been bathroom floor tiles cracking under the crushing stomp of The Stairmaster as he prepared for his next at bat.

And when that at bat came around, things were looking fairly rosy for the guys in grey. The Fundamentalist had led off with a single and scarpered to second on a wild pitch, which gave Good King Wentzell a chance to show he could bust out an RBI single with a nice knock to right field (way to make sure, King).

But anything the royal one can do, Barfield can do better. He put his floor tile-stomping ways to good use with an RBI-double to center. Sadly, The Stairmaster figured he had the mustard to bust his double into a three-bagger and duly got run out of town on a good throw to third base, but you’ve got to like his moxie for giving it a shot.

Alas, Juan ‘Bullet-Time’ Nunez was next up at the plate and hit what should have been an RBI-double, if only there was anyone on the bases, but hey.. 4-0 C’s, what’s not to like?

Make that 4-1, as in the bottom of the 4th, The Mauler’s propensity for putting guys on base resulted in Justin Parker doubling home Andrew (fee) Fie (foe fum). Que sera.

Joseph ‘The Technicolor Dreamcoat’ Gautier entered the fray for the Poorly-Logoed Bears for the fifth inning, and the only noticeable change was that the C’s put more men on base to score less runs.

After No Fear LeVier struck out swinging (from the chandeliers) and Rod Rutherford flew out to left, Wild Wild West put a charge on a shot down the left field line for a double, The Fundamentalist showed those fundamentals once again with a solid walk, and then came WAAAAAAAAAAALT! with a two-out RBI single to right.

Good King Wentzell duly walked to load up the bags ("Good king… GOOD KING!" [throws a treat, pats head]), which brought The Stairmaster up for a potential HULK SMASH! moment.

• Jeremy Barfield strikes out swinging.

You can take the kid out of Vancouver, but you can’t take the Vancouver out of the kid. C’s 5-1 up.

In the bottom of the 5th, the Mauler endured an error by second baseman Ryne ‘The Journeyman’ Jernigan, and an Alfredo Marte single to center made it two on base. But The Journeyman atoned by taking part in a 4-6-3 double play, and Morla did his part to shut Yakima the hell up by striking out Jimmy Principe (who will be singing all your favourite Harry Belafonte tunes in the Stardust Lounge after the show).

Daniel Vasquez replaced the Technicolor Dreamcoat in the 6th and zipped through the ‘Couv hitters in short order, and in the bottom of the frame, with Fabian ‘Slip’n’slide’ Gomez entering the game as relief pitcher for the C’s, the Bears started gettin’ ornery.

A one-out triple to left came from the free-swinging Justin ‘The Valet’ Parker (think about it), and Gomez followed that by plunking Ramon Castillo to put men on the corners.

What followed? Madness.

With Johan Pimentel batting, Gomez notices Castillo taking a few too many steps off the bag. Gomez being a mad pick-off genius, he flings the ball to first baseman Good King Wentzell. Castillo, knowing he’s done for at first, takes off for second base, where shortstop
Jason Christian gets the throw. He chases Castillo back and engages him in a rundown, flicking the ball to first, where Wentzell spots the lead runner doing the obvious – stealing for home.

Wentzell rips a throw to catcher Juan Nunez,
Nunez drops the shoulder into The Valet for the out, and though Ramon Castillo managed to get to second, "we’re at home plate, killin ur dudes."

Castillo would end up scoring when The Fundamentalist forgot his fundamentals and booted a grounder a short, but the 5-2 scoreline was still so money for the C’s, you don’t even know it.

Unfortunately, the C’s had begun to get freaky ass with their lead, and the bottom of the inning saw two K’s and a weak pop out to first from Rutherford, Wild Wild and The Fundy.

In the 7th, Colin Cowgill walked on Gomez and rode two groundouts to third before scoring on a passed ball. Another walk and a double to Fee Fie Foe Fum brought it back to 5-4, and the Grizzly ones were looking for honey while the Canadians were dripping in maple.

Enter WAAAAAAAAALT! for the C’s in the bottom of the inning. Base hit to right field, steal of second base, third on a ground-out, and home on a booted ball to The Valet. Canadians extend their lead, 6-4.

Vancouver boss Rick Magnante made some changes in the 8th, pulling The Stairmaster out of the game for Lorenzo ‘Rollin’ in the Benzo’ Macias, and swapping Carlos ‘Over-reachy’ Arrieche for The Journeyman.

Colin Cowgill, two run homer, Yakima in front with no Barfield to call on… sigh.

Tied ballgame.

Top of the 9th, and everyone’s trying to win it with one swing for the C’s. Arrieche knocked one to The Valet, which means basically an easy trot to first base. Then No Fear and Rutherford did their ‘double strikeout dance’, with Arrieche getting caught stealing to end the inning.

RALLY TIME!!

Yakima Bottom 9th

• Pitcher Change: Juan Villegas replaces Edgar Tejeda.
• Anthony Smith homers (1) on a fly ball to right field.

Okay, so shut up.

	June 22, 2008
	Final    1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9      R   H   E   Vancouver   0   2   0   2   1   0   0   1   0      6   11   2   Yakima   0   0   0   1   0   1   2   2   1      7   11   2  Recap | Box | W: J. Meaker (1-0, 0.00); L: J. Villegas (0-1, 3.86) HR: YAK: C. Cowgill (3), A. Smith (1).

NOTES:

• Enjoyed the outside the stadium offerings at my most recent visit to The Nat on Friday. The massages-for-tips deal is a nice touch, and though I’m not sure that many people wear the kind of shoes that can be polished these days, it doesn’t suck that you can get a spit and polish before you go in to the game. As for the $20 haircuts sitting on a garbage bag-covered chair… I think I’ll pass. I pay half that for my cuts (and you can keep your jokes to yourselves, thanks).
• The one piece of advice I’d offer the front office about these stadium attractions… they could REALLY use some signage. A kid sitting on a crate with a rag doesn’t say ’shoeshine opportunity’ to me, it says ‘boy, that kid really doesn’t want anyone stealing his crate’.
• Oakland signed their 19th round draft pick, Mike Hart. Some debate on NFTN as to whether we call him ‘Broken’, ‘Hitman’, or ‘The Foundation’. Performance will decide.
• What happens when a switch-hitter meets a switch-pitcher? Bedlam.
• C’s players, if you’re reading this, don’t get with any of those Yakima girls who are, right now, throwing themselves your way. First of all, more than a couple have woken up the next day and called lawyers, demanding payment for silence. Second, they’re from YAKIMA, which means they’ll do just about anything to get out of there… "What? The condom didn’t work? But I used two!"