$18m for 29 home runs; that’s what it cost the Toronto Blue Jays to rent Frank Thomas for one season.

Thomas, the shoe-in Hall-of-Fame slugger who talked his way out of Chicago before coming to Oakland for pennies on the dollar, helped propel the Athletics to an unlikely appearance in the 2006 ALCS. He subsequently parlayed that season into a free agent contract for what could only be called ‘crazy money’ from the Toronto Blue Jays, much to the chagrin of the A’s fans who had grown to love how he looked in white cleats.

Few Oakland fans begrudged him his chance to get paid. They missed his presence in the lineup, but they all, to a man, would have done the same thing. Take the money and run, Hurt.

But The Big Hurt is a smart guy, and if there’s one thing he knew about his move north, it was that he had the Blue Jays by the onions.

Thomas was aces last year, hitting 26 dingers and going for a reasonable .277 average, but after getting benched following a slow start this season, Thomas activated his mouth and the Jays found themselves in checkmate.

"Play me," said Thomas.
"No," said Jays manager, John Gibbons.
"They better play me or I’m going to get pissy," said Thomas, to the press.
"You’re fired," said Jays GM, JP Ricciardi, before the ghastly realization that firing Thomas would cost his team $8m and leave him using Rod Barajas as DH set in.

Exit Thomas. Enter Oakland.

The A’s today announced they had come to terms with the free agent slugger, for next to no money, and a guarantee of an everyday spot in the lineup (which, considering Jack Cust’s current form, comes pretty cheap).

Exactly how little will the A’s have to pay Thomas this season? League minimum. 

In fact, less than league minimum, since they get to pro-rate his salary to make up for the games he spent in Toronto. It’ll cost the A’s $337k to have a Hall of Famer in their lineup all year.

That’s Moneyball in action, in case you weren’t aware.

For the A’s, signing Thomas is a no-loss situation. If he sucks, it doesn’t really matter, as they’re not expected to compete this season anyhow and he will be there on the cheap - and likely draw more paying customers to the stadium than the 12,000 or so that show up at the moment. At worst, they just brought aboard a guy who, despite poor form, has already hit more homers this season than anyone else on the A’s staff.

At best, if Thomas destroys all comers over the remainder of the season, then they might just sneak into the playoffs and surprise some folks, a la 2003 Florida Marlins. Though, probably not.

For Toronto, on the other hand, this news is not the stuff of happy times. It’s one thing for your franchise slugger to run cold. It’s another to have to dump him because your manager is petulant. And it’s another thing entirely - a whole new world of indignity - for the team you stole the player away from to get him back for next to no money, because he’s already got $8m of your money headed his way this season. 

In essence, the Jays paid Thomas insane money to leave Oakland, and then paid him insane money to go back.

Ouch.

And good for Thomas - he’s no fool. He knew when he started bitching to the press that the worst thing the Jays could do to him would be absolutely nothing. If they’d just shrugged their shoulders at his protestations and had him occupy a spot on the bench for the remainder of the season, they would have been no worse off than they are now - AND they might have been able to trade the guy away and have someone else take part of his contract on.

But the Jays, fools that they are, took Frank’s bait and hit the eject button… which is EXACTLY what the big guy wanted all along.

Now he gets to be paid AND play somewhere he likes, on a playing surface that doesn’t involve carpet or concrete, with no expectations that it will be up to him to destroy the Yankees and Red Sox every time up to bat.

Sorry Jays. You got played.