Every now and then, as a journalist, you find yourself in odd places.  Myself? I’ve been in more odd places, with more odd people, than most could dream of.

I’ve explored the world of chemistry at Hunter S. Thompson’s fortified compound. I’ve shared a limo with William H. Macy. I’ve hit on, and been horribly shot down by, both Molly Ringwald AND Ione Skye. I’ve taken Denise Richards and Elizabeth Berkley to the freakin’ Cecil.

Seriously, you could drop me at a Palm Springs resort with $50, and a week later I’d be running a nightclub in the Green Zone.

But nothing I’ve seen in all my travels has prepared me for the horror… the pure, unadulterated fright… that is Rob Fai’s choice of attire on Granville Street on a Saturday night.

This past Saturday evening, the C’s media man invited a couple of folks around to socialize, watch the Canucks get ornery, and play a little Wii Bowling. While there (and thanks for the invite, big guy), I learned four very important things.

1. Rob Fai’s creativity rises exponentially in proportion to how much empty the tequila bottle is. With this in mind, the C’s should do everything possible to ensure he is, in fact, never sober when at work.
2. Jason Takefman may well be one of only two front office C’s employees left from the Fred Hermann-ownership days, but he has one apparent quality that many of the old school crew never exhibited… dude WANTS it. If C’s ownership told him to walk to Cleveland in hot pants in winter, he’d have one leg into the pants before you could say, "Hey, kidding." (Side note: Stephen Hopkins is currently passing through Yakima in a nice hot pink number. If he keeps up his current pace, he should be in Cleveland by early March.)
3. Ryan Dempster should not be allowed near the Lime-ade under any circumstances.
4. The only piece of clothing less likely to attract women on Granville Street than an Oilers jersey with ‘Gretzky’ on the back is a News1130 windbreaker.

Oh, one other thing I’ve learned… C’s folks no longer answer the question, "So when are we getting back to Triple-A ball" with the words "never happen."

Now they answer it with, "A lot of things would have to happen…"

I give it four years. 

Image of Wii impaled in TV screen swiped from Wii Have A Problem.