Gregg Zaun finally decided to speak about his mention in the Mitchell Report, as being an alleged customer of ‘roid peddler Kirk Radomski, today, and he’s claiming some… let’s just call it ‘bizarre’… stuff happened that led to him being named.

The Mitchell Report says, and I’m paraphrasing here, that Zaun cut Radomski a check for $500 back in 2001, when Zaun was playing for the KC Royals and Radomski was a trainer with the Mets. According to Radomski, Deca-Durabolin and Winstrol were delivered to Zaun in return for his money.

So how does Zaun explain this, considering the Mitchell Report features a photocopy of the check?

From MLB.com:

The 36-year-old catcher said that he owed Grimsley $500 — possibly for losing a bet on a basketball game — and he gave the check to the pitcher without penning Grimsley’s name on the document. From there, it’s Zaun’s belief that Grimsley scribbled Radomski’s name on the check and used it to buy steroids.

Oh. Come. On.

As for why he’d write a check without making it out specifically to Grimsley, who was a teammate and close friend of Zaun’s in Kansas City, Zaun said he’s done that before "dozens of times." In all likelihood, if Zaun owed the money over a lost bet, the catcher said he probably wrote the check quickly and tossed it in disgust at the pitcher.

Ask yourself what’s more likely to have happened - the story above, or one in which Grimsley says, "Hey Zaun, I’ve got a guy who’ll hook you up with the juice," to which Zaun says, "How much?", and Grimsley says, "$500 - but no names - just make out a check for that amount, and I’ll fill in the name later, and he’ll deliver the stuff right to you."

Being as I’m not an idiot, I think my scenario is far more likely.

It’s funny how Zaun recalls owing exactly $500 to Grimsley, but doesn’t recall what it was for, when it happened, or why he didn’t finish writing the check. But hey, when you’re cutting checks all over the place and not bothering to write names on them, I guess that’ll happen a time or two.

You know what else has happened a time or two? Gregg Zaun being implicated in a steroid bust, and then blaming other people for it.

Initially, Zaun said he believed his part in the Mitchell Report stemmed from an incident involving Luis Perez, a former bullpen catcher for the Montreal Expos [...] Perez told investigators from the Commissioner’s Office during an interview in January 2003 that he personally supplied Zaun, and seven others, with anabolic steroids. The report claims that Perez spent time as a bullpen catcher in 1998, when Zaun was with the Marlins, but Zaun said he doesn’t remember him.

…Zaun said he believes that the former bullpen catcher gave names to investigators simply to avoid jail time [...] "His mother is sitting across the table, telling him he better give up someone," Zaun said. "What would you do? My guess is that he made up eight names of guys he could remember that were probably still playing. Active players are obviously juicier targets."

So Gregg Zaun is named in one case as a steroid client, and blows it off as someone trying to escape jail time. Then his check shows up in Radomski’s bank account and Radomski (who goes to jail if he’s caught lying to prosecutors) says he sent roids to Zaun, who says it’s all this big misunderstanding… "Me? Steroids? Never!"

Well, I guess all this would be easy to clear up, right? I mean, if Zaun really did owe $500 to Grimsley, then obviously he’ll want the guy to come forward and confirm his story… right? I mean, that’d be the logical step. Simple phone call and it’s done… Right?

Wrong.

Zaun’s version of the events that led to his inclusion in the Mitchell
Report would undoubtedly be aided by corroboration from Grimsley. Even
so, the catcher said he doesn’t plan on asking Grimsley to address the
subject and Zaun also said he has no intention of pursuing legal action
against the former pitcher.

Qu’elle surprise.

I’ve always liked Gregg Zaun. He’s always been a rare straight-shooter in a sport dominated by Jeter-esque wafflers. But any affection I once had for the guy is now long gone, because there’s only two ways left to summarize his character:

Gregg Zaun - Liar and steroid cheat.

UPDATE: While Zaun talks in circles and denies the obvious, Paul LoDuca has put forth the first step in actually atoning for his sins… by fessing up.

"In regards to Senator Mitchell’s report [...] I apologize to my family, all my fans and to the
entire baseball community for mistakes in judgment I made in the
past and for the distractions that resulted."

That’s how it’s done, Zaun.