brush-girl.gifThe subject line above is apparently the only thing you’re allowed to write about former A’s minor league toiler Mark Kiger, or else his wife, a former Kits girl who calls herself "Bedhead Barbie", will post obscenities about you on her MySpace page.

Ah, where to begin this tale of joy?

Well, let’s start by warning those with tender constitutions that some of the language gets a bit raunchy below, and though that’s not my choice, it is necessary to keep it uncensored. So if you don’t want to deal with that, or the inherent trashiness of a public internet feud, I’d suggest skipping to the next post.

Otherwise, click the ‘more’ link and watch what happens when you start a fight you’re ill-equipped to finish.

Let’s skip back to the beginning of what will forever more be known as KigerGate, where I made mention of the fact that Mark Kiger had been let go by the A’s. If you read the piece, you’ll actually note that, while I’m not crying about his departure, I’m also pretty respectful to the guy:

Here’s hoping another organization takes a chance on a talented guy who knows how to catch a ball.  

Kiger’s wife then kicks in, posting a comment that he wasn’t ‘let go’, but decided instead to walk:

Your story is incorrect. Mark was not “axed” by the A’s to make room
for rule 5 players. Mark was not satisfied with the broken promises
made many times to him by the Oakland A’s and the fact that the day
that the 40 man roster was to be finalized, he was pulled off the
roster and sent back to AA Midland again, therefore, Mark ASKED for his
release to see if he could find a club that could help further his
career. So he left on his own accord! and was quickly picked-up by the
Mets organization.

Further more, Oakland was going to attempt to “non-tender” him so they
could re-sign him and he was offered good money to return to Oakland
for 2007 season. he was never unemployed. and many teams showed
interest and still do to this day.

Okay, fair enough, but it’s not like it changes the story any - he was here, then he was gone, and now he’s with the Mets. Whether he got there by choice, or whether he was bound with ropes, rolled up in 25 feet of carpet, and flown to New York against his will, he’s not an Athletic anymore, and that was the news I was trying to relay to any A’s fan who might have happened to be on the "Mark Kiger will one day save us all" bandwagon.

So, anyway, I reply saying as much:

I’ve no reason to doubt a player’s wife when she says a player asked
for a release, but then perhaps said player’s wife should understand
that those of us who don’t live in the Kiger household only see the
words "Oakland releases Mark Kiger" - we don’t get a backstory from the
team, and we don’t get one from the player.

And, really, does it
matter whether the player asked to be let go or not? The fact of the
matter is, Oakland didn’t want him enough to keep him around on the
40-man roster, and he didn’t trust Oakland enough to start 2007 in AA
ball and take his chances that he would be moved up soon.

The
funny thing is, perhaps if he’d stuck around another season, he might
have joined Travis Buck, Dallas Braden and Danny Putnam as AA players
who have since been added to the Oakland Major League roster, instead
of toiling in AA ball for the Mets.

Now, if you’re playing at home, you’d likely call that the "end of the story", because pro ballplayers not named Nuke Laloosh are usually smart enough to know that A) they can’t control what is said on every blog on the planet, and B) it’s kind of unprofessional for a ballplayer (or his close kin) to start a public war over, really, a blog post that isn’t sufficiently fawning.

But apparently Mark Kiger isn’t clued in to that just yet, so far from this being the end, in fact, it’s just the first commercial break in a very tacky, very unnecessary reality show called My Wife Has a MySpace Page and She’s Gonna Abuse It.

From Bedhead Barbie’s blog:

so i punch in a search for the article and come to find out, the
bastard has posted, not just a response to my comment, but a whole blog
about it…

Wait a second there, Barbie, the ‘whole blog’ is about the Vancouver Canadians. Your hubby got a mere post. I have better things to do than dedicate myself to the career of Mark Kiger.  Unlike someone else I could name.

so i started hair flippin’ and pffftttt’ing all over the place which
prompted mark to ask what my problem was…so i showed him (he was
there when i wrote the original comment)……and then mark got the
ASS! (that means he’s mad) and so he made me type a response to this
ass-wipes retort to my comment.

here’s our response to the fore mentioned asshole, that we wrote mmmm…….about an hour ago:

Before we get to that response, make particular note of the lingo Barbie likes to use in describing me: bastard, ass, ass-wipes, asshole. Later, she refers to me as a ‘facker‘. Really stretchin’ the vocab.

So let’s recap: I wrote a blog post mentioning Kiger isn’t with the A’s anymore, his wife bitches me out, I shrug, she then goes postal on her MySpace page about me and has her hubby, who really should know that these things never end well, send a comment to my site that is only going to stoke the flames. 

this is mark kiger himself, so if you need first hand information, i would be more than happy to fill in the blanks.

Actually, Mark, I don’t need first hand information anymore. You’re a AA player for the Mets, so that kind of ends the interest, but by all means, go on if you feel you need to clear the air.

I read your original blog and i do have to say that if there was any praise in there, than i must have missed it. it sounded more like you were saying my career was over, and that is not praise. It felt  like you were trying to belittle me as a professional player.

No Mark, this is me belittling you as a professional player: you’re a 27-year-old AA baller who has only hit one pitch long in 140+ at bats this season, despite playing in a traditionally power-position. In order for you to get to AAA ball, you’ll have to push Fernando Tatis off the Mets’ payroll, and unless David Wright is disemboweled by a pitching machine in a bizarre training mishap, you sure ain’t headed beyond AAA unless you learn how to play right field.

Meanwhile, back in Oakland (the team you walked out on), third baseman Eric Chavez is sitting on the bench and the A’s are starting to ask the question, "Who is going to take over from Eric if he has to be out for an extended period?"

Well, chances are, that would have been you, Mark, if not for the fact that you decided you just couldn’t possibly stand for Oakland to send you back to AA this season. If you hadn’t walked out on the team that invested in your minor league development, you’d have been right in line to be starting for them today in the Majors.

Instead, you stomped out the door - only to end up playing AA ball after all for a team that has two major league stars ahead of you at third base, instead of one. (golf clap)

(Just so you know, THAT is how you belittle a professional player. You should ask your agent about it too, since if he advised you to move away from Oakland, he’s belittled you plenty already.)

i believe the blog in response to my wife’s comment was inconsiderate and unprofessional on your behalf. her comment was not in anger, it was more in correcting your facts.  we, however, do NOT like the tone of this recent blog. we believe that YOUR response is out of anger. "toiling around" is not the correct assumtion [sic], i am playing and doing well.

Trust me, the previous response was not out of anger, it was out of incredulity. THIS one is out of anger, and not for nothing, dude, but maybe you should ask your missus about ‘unprofessional’ behavior, because as her blog demonstrates, she has it down to the level of a martial art.

I do enjoy the song choices on her MySpace profile, however - "They’re trying to make me go to rehab/I say no, no, no" - sometimes the punchlines write themselves.

in baseball you need a lot of luck and to be in the right place at the right time.  i have more skills then some players in the big leagues, but they’re up in the "Bigs" and I’m not, that’s just the way it is.

Yeah dude, David Wright (who is two years younger than you, natch) is just cruising on reputation at this point, isn’t he? Carlos Delgado - what has HE ever done? Endy who? What sort of name is LoDuca anyway?

I will admit you’re more talented than Chan Ho Park, but honestly, that’s like saying you’re funnier than Carrot Top, and not for nothing, but I kinda doubt you’re going to be welcomed with open arms by anyone at the Mets if you’re going around posting on blogs that you’re better than them.

I mean, seriously guy, WTF?

There was actually trade rumors in the spring about me possibly being traded back to oakland, so for you to write that Oakland didn’t want me, is completely false.  I like the organization and i’m still a huge fan of the people in it, i just thought that change might be good for me as a player.

It’s funny that you’re a huge fan of the people in the Oakland organization, because if I can quote your wife on this very blog…:

Mark was not satisfied with the broken promises made many times to him by the Oakland A’s and the fact that the day that the 40 man roster was to be finalized, he was pulled off the roster and sent back to AA Midland again.

Did you mean you’re a big fan of Larry Davis? I can understand that, seeing as how he’s brutalizing all the guys who were in front of you in the system. Maybe you meant you’re a fan of the guy that sells the Churros at the Coliseum - I know I am! And I’m told the clubbie is one heck of a card player - was that the dude you were a fan of?

Mark was not satisfied with the broken promises made many times to him by the Oakland A’s…

But he’s still a big fan of the people who broke those promises. Gotcha.

If your [sic] frustrated with people calling you out on your inaccuracies, than maybe you should pick up a phone and make a call or research the facts.  You have the power to reach a lot of people and it’s not fair to your readers to get a "somewhat correct" story.

Oh sure, I’ll just flip through my Rolodex and grab your number… oh wait! You’re not in there! Maybe you’re in the phone book? …Nope. 

Oh, I know, I’ll just call the Safeway - they should still have your wife’s contact details, shouldn’t they?

You can have your opinion and i have mine but don’t try to embarrass my wife or me as an athlete.

If you don’t want that door opened, Sparky, tell your wife to quit kicking it in.

And, oh yeah, maybe work on your power hitting.

UPDATE: Lots of comments below, which is nice, but it seems as if Ms Kiger has taken her MySpace page to private, and left a note about how she has "a stalker who likes to write about me!" Aaaw, how cute!

Still, for those who know how to use Google Cache, a disappearing web page is never a problem, so here’s an older version [link removed at Kiger’s request, because he asked nicely] of the page that is at the center of KigerGate, preserved for eternal glory.

UPDATE II: As you’ll read in the comments below, Mark Kiger chimed in, all pissy that I linked to his wife’s website, claiming it was a violation of his family’s privacy because there were pictures of his wife and child there.

Weird, then, that a few weeks later we’d find this story in a Binghamton newspaper, highlighting those same family members with big fat pictures and quotes. How odd!