Another crystal clear night at The Nat, the perfect atmosphere for a
ball game, or rather it would be if not for the presence of the Northwest League’s
most despised umpire, Dan “The Shrinking Strikezone†Oliver. There are
plenty of ordinary umpires in the minor leagues, and probably more than
there should be in the NWL, but Oliver takes incompetence to the level
of a martial art.
The line-ups:
VANCOUVER CANADIANS
Mike Massaro CF
Justin Sellers SS
Steve Kleen 1B
Haas Pratt DH
Jose Garcia RF
Shawn Callahan 3B
Chad Boyd LF
Anthony Recker C
Wilbur Perez 2B
Joey Newby RHP
EVERETT AQUASOX
Casey “Casum†Craig CF
Ron “Julia†Prettyman 3B
Reed “Measly†Eastley DH
Jeff “Star-Spangled†Flaig 1B
J.B.â€Chunky†Tucker C
Alex “four letter word†Gary RF
Luis “Bueno†Valbuena 2B
Bryan “Salmonella†Sabatella LF
Rob “Rock†Hudson SS
Paul “Please sir, I want some more†Fagan RHP
Umpire: Dan "Worst. Umpire. Ever." Oliver
In the top of the 1st, Oliver’s strikezone was the same as any
other umpire’s strikezone, and the world was a happy place. But in the
bottom of the 1st, with Mike Massaro at the plate, it began to take on
a new form, as if taken over by The Blob. Balls outside became strikes,
and pitches over the plate were ignored as balls… Massaro quickly
struck out, walking off to the dugout utterly confused at what he’s
allowed to swing at and what he should be leaving.
To steal a quote from AthleticsNation, "Calling a game using sonar can’t be easy. He’s booed now, but will be considered a revolutionary in a hundred years’ time."
The
top of the 2nd saw Oliver decide on a new format for the strikezone; a
figure-eight. As Newby (right) tried to figure out what part of the
plate was strikezone and what part was ‘outside’, he began to throw
down the pipe more than is usually recommended, something Everett took
full advantage of, with Jeffrey “Star Spangled†Flaig sending a
comebacker back up the middle for a single, and Chunky Tucker repeating
the dose through the hole at 1st.
That brought up Alex “Four Letter Word†Gary who had only one thing on
his mind – to bunt the runners along. As he dropped the bat and the
ball dribbled a few feet, Recker sprinted out for it, grabbed the ball,
turned and felt his feet slip out from under him. Base hit, bases
loaded.
From there, the gods of ill fortune lined up to kick the crap out of
Newby. First it was Luis Valbuena flying out to shallow right, which
allowed the runner on 3rd to tag up and score as Garcia’s throw got to
Recker just a split second too late.
Salmonella Sabatella copied that move, flying out to right, which
allowed another run to scores on the throw as Joe Newby intercepted it
and sent it to 3rd just a second too late to grab a second out.
Then it was Rock Hudson, doinking a shallow fly into right center that
saw Massaro make great ground, then dive full sprawl, only to miss the
catch by a whisker. Another run scores, and Vancouver are behind the
eight ball at 3-0. And that’s how it stayed for several innings, even
as the Rally Crows took flight in the 4th and 5th.
Newby did manage to figure out Dan Oliver’s strikezone over time, and
even managed to strike a couple of hitters out, but the Vancouver
hitters seemed to struggle with the whole concept of ‘adapting to suit
the conditions’, which meant Paul Fagan, the 6’5 lefty pitching for the
Flipper-Kids, was having his way with the V-town offense.
In the bottom of the 5th, the Canadians worked hard to tilt the balance
in their favor, but fortune simply wasn’t favoring the brave. Shawn
Callahan doinked a single to right to lead off the inning, but when
Chad Boyd knocked a fast-dropping fly to shallow center, even the
collective prayers of the 3988 crowd couldn’t prevent Casey Craig from
taking a highlight reel catch while sliding in on his left butt cheek.
Anthony Recker drew a walk to make it an all-catcher line-up on 1st and
2nd base, but a Wilbur Perez pop fly to the pitcher took away the sac
advantage, before Mike Massaro, desperately trying to bust out of his
slump, rocketed a grounder up the middle, only to see Fagan snare the
ball with a windmilled glove, and toss to 1st for the out.
Joseph Newby, now understanding the Dan Oliver Strikezone â„¢, pitched
strongly in the 5th, but the call to Joe Piekarz to start warming up
was already in by the time he sat Everett’s hitters, 1-2-3, ending his
night with but one scoring inning against his name.
At the plate in the bottom of the 5th, Justin Sellers opened the affair
with a well-hit grounder down the right field line, but as it zipped
towards the Everett bullpen, the Aquasox relievers sat motionless,
refusing to get out of the way. When the ball ended up under an
equipment bag, with Sellers headed to 3rd and looking good for an
inside the park homerun, the right fielder signaled a dead ball and the
umpires didn’t hesitate to agree. The crowd, outraged at Everett’s
almost deliberate impeding of the in-play ball, roared and yelled, but
they needn’t have got too flustered as Haas Pratt blammoed a ball to
deep right, beating the diving Alex Gary, and getting Sellers home as
the hitter coasted into 2nd.
Jose Garcia followed at the plate, and though the pitcher was looking a
little troubled, anyone who has watched Garcia play this game called
baseball knows that he’ll swing at anything. Flies, small children,
passing birds – he just can’t help but swing the damn bat. And swing he
did, getting himself into a 1-2 situation at the plate before grounding
a ball to 3rd for an easy out.
Shawn
Callahan (left) was next up at the plate, and his penchant for
clutch-hitting must have been playing heavily on the mind of Fagan on
the mound, as his first three pitches were so far outside even Dan
Oliver called them balls. Cally sat tight, refusing to swing at garbage
as the count moved in his favor, but a 3-0 called strike and a 3-1 foul
tip brought a full count to bear before the big guy swung hard on a
fastball that was, frankly, too good for him.
K, end of inning, but the C’s cut the deficit by 1; the scoreline sits at 3-1 Everett.
Top of the 7th, and it’s time for a cup ‘o Joe . Joe Piekarz (3-2,
3.67) is a 6’2†stringbean southpaw who was never drafted, but was
picked up by Oakland after being passed over by the other Major League
teams in 2004. He’s been an enigma this year, pitching alternately
ferociously, then weakly, with a tendency towards the former but
usually with at least one inning of the latter. He allowed the first
Everett hitter to get on base tonight, and a pair of sacrifice hits
moved that runner around to 3rd, but Piekarz is nothing if not
confident right now, and he slithered his way out of the jam without
problem, throwing solid pitches and a nice breaking strike 3 that
fooled the hitter completely.
In the bottom of the 7th, Please Sir, I Want Some More was still out
there tossing for the Flipper-Kids, but after sending down 4 straight
balls to walk Chad Boyd, he was given the hook by Everett pitching
coach Marcos Garcia, to be replaced by Lance Beus.
Beus continued the wayward pitching, throwing three straight low balls
to Anthony Recker before the big man launched a rocket deep into center
field. With the center fielder and right fielder tracking the shot, it
just kept on traveling, eventually dropping through a hole in the wall
right next to the electronic scoreboard sign.
Confusion reigned as the fans considered the hit to be a homerun –
after all, the ball was outside the park and bouncing down the street.
But the umpires said otherwise, ruling that the area in which the ball
had left the field was actually below the level of the outfield fence,
and thus should be considered a ground rule double.
This
was argued in the press box right until the end of the game, with some
people saying the top of the wall is in-play, while others noted that
the scoreboard, and the wall to the left of it, are actually a foot
back from the wall proper, and should be considered as ‘outside the
park’, not inside. The picture to your right shows the area being
discussed, and as you can see, it’s a real ballpark anomaly, the likes
of which you would think would be discussed with the managers by the
umpires before the game began.
Of course, this could all be prevented from happening again if the
Canadians painted a yellow line around the scoreboard, to indicate that
it’s out of play… or in play… whatever the hell it is.
Regardless, Boyd was moved back to 3rd base and Recker was shifted
backwards to 2nd, in a game of umpire-led chutes and ladders. The C’s
took the decision without too much visible annoyance, and as Wilbur
Perez grounded home Boyd to narrow the Everett lead to one run, Ty
Bubalo was brought in to pinch-hit for Massaro with a man on 3rd and
one out.
Now, this situation confuses the hell out of me. First of all, this is
a classic suicide squeeze situation, so you’d expect the C’s to want a
bunter at the plate, and maybe a pinch-runner at 3rd. By my reckoning,
that means bringing in maybe Isaac Omura to pinch run, to be replaced
by Bubalo after the inning as catcher. But no.
Instead, Juan Navarrete pulled Mike Massaro (a guy who can bunt for a
hit) and brought in a pinch-hitter in catcher Ty Bubalo. So now, no
matter what he hits, Bubalo will have to play in the outfield for the
rest of the game…
This too is baffling, because Bubalo is an all or nothing hitter – he
either smacks the ball three fields deep, or he strikes out… every
time. Which might be nice for a sac fly, but with Bubalo you know he’s
not laying down any bunts, whereas Massaro can hit deep or drop a bunt
down – whatever the situation calls for. But hey, if I was so smart,
I’d be managing a ball team. And I’m not.
So Bubalo takes a big swing and pops up to 3rd. Then Justin Sellers
flies out to center field to end the inning. And I slam my head on the
desk repeatedly. ARRRGH!
Top of the 8th, scoreline sits at 3-2 in Everett’s favor as Piekarz
sits three hitters without incident, then repeated the dose in the 9th.
Go Pie-Man!
In the bottom of the 9th, Stephen Kahn was brought in by Everett to
shut the game down. Kahn is their closer of choice, a 6’3†5th round
draft pick with a record of 5 saves on the year. Shawn Callahan led off
the inning, but then Everett unleashed their tenth man – umpire Dan
Oliver.
As Callahan watched one pitch outside, Oliver astoundingly called it a
strike. Callahan walked a few steps away to try to make sense of that
call, but when he came back and took the plate once more, the pitcher
threw one even further outside. Callahan let it go through, the umpire
stood motionless for a second, and then, for whatever reason, called
“Strike!â€
I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised that on the very next pitch, which
was more outside than the previous two, that Oliver AGAIN called it a
strike to send Callahan back to the dugout, but you live in hope that
morons like this will at some point decide to let the game be played
the way it’s supposed to be.
Chad Boyd and Anthony Recker got the message – swing or be struck out.
Both gave it their best, both flew out, game Everett, and with
Salem-Kaizer winning over Eugene (and having beat them 15-1 last
night), the advantage to Vancouver in the NWL West is now just one game.
An unlucky game for the C’s, but a game they should have won had their bats been in form, umpires be damned.
And so they should be. Dan Oliver, if he’s allowed to darken the door
of Nat Bailey Stadium next season, should be taken out to the parking
lot and beaten to death with whiffle bats. I’ll go low.
| August 29, 2005 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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GAME NOTES:
*
Can someone please tell me where the HELL Jeff Baisley is? For the last
two nights, Baisley has been absent from the line-up, not even being
brought in as a pinch-hitter. The press office staff don’t know why
he’s not playing, the trainer says he’s "not injured" and "you’ll have
to ask management why he’s not playing," which says to me he’s either
being disciplined or, for whatever reason, Juan Navarrete thinks
Baisley needs a three-day rest. Either way, this just isn’t good enough
for the fans of the team, who have come out to see the best baseball
Vancouver has to offer, and instead find one of the weakest hitting
line-ups of the season in play in a game we REALLY need to win.
Whatever the logic, it would just be nice if someone bothered to tell
the fans, you know? Especially when we have a man on 3rd, one-out,
we’re one run down, and we’re bringing in a pinch-hitter who hits
sub-.230 to get him home.
* Nice work Joe Piekarz in registering three clean innings of relief
and making sure the Canadians were in the game to the last out. Joe
Newby also pitched well, second inning notwithstanding, and if this is
considered the ‘weak’ part of the Vancouver rotation, there are a whole
lot of teams out there that would love to have our weak guys at the
front of their rotation.
* Anthony Recker is starting to heat up… though some might say it’s
about time. The big man is starting to knock out doubles aplenty, and
put that big frame of his to good use. His battery-mates are doing
likewise – Shawn Callahan’s form with the bat has been better every
week, while Ty Bubalo has been hitting deep bombs for a week now.
* Mike Massaro is completely baffled by the NWL umpiring right now, as
was demonstrated tonight when he was pinch-hit for in a situation
ready-made for his talents – at least when he’s in form. Massaro really
needs a few games on the bench to get his act together, but at present
there’s nobody on the C’s roster that could adequately replace him in
the outfield. With Chalon Tietje sitting because of age restrictions in
the NWL, and with Jeff Bieker out for the year with a shoulder injury,
the only option to Massaro is Ty Bubalo as an outfielder, and that’s
just not going to fly in a pennant run. Of course, they COULD bring a
few kids up from rookie ball, since the Arizona season is finished and
all, and there’s room on the roster to do so (especially if Shawn
Callahan is the best option at 3rd base!), so what’s with the delay?
Bring up some hitters from down south and let’s make sure that if
Vancouver misses the playoffs, it’s not because we couldn’t be bothered
making sure we have a full squad.
Quite frankly, I don’t understand
what’s going on with Juan Navarrete’s line-ups right now, and his
decisions seem to be getting weirder with every game that passes.
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